ALONG COMES MARY

As someone who has a strong interest in women’s issues, I feel compelled to give my 2 cents about Pink (Does she still spell it with an exclamation point??) & the recent brouhaha about her weight.

As I read her response to critics thinking she looked “fat” last week at a charity event, I was deeply saddened & annoyed that this is the kind of society we live in, & that young people are growing up in. The only other time I feel such a rage within me like the feelings felt reading about Pink, is when I am subjected to seeing pop star, Chris Brown, continue to be on the top of the charts, supported by millions & opening award shows such as The Grammy’s. How can we be letting a man who beats his girlfriend (with the police photos to prove it) rule the pop music world? Strange, confusing world.

With these strong emotions I get from checking out the media, I feel its important I use my this blog as an outlet to say what I think, & hopefully others take to heart.

Ever since I was young, around 11 years old when puberty hit, I have had major body image issues. While luckily never battling a disorder, I often feel ashamed or guilty after I eat, or enjoy myself. Sometimes, every little bite I put in my mouth sends me into a stir crazy boiling pot of guilt & regret. Why did I eat that dessert? I didn’t need that. Oh, I can skip breakfast (say to self 100 times). NO! I can’t skip breakfast, I’ll pig out & then skip lunch. Blood sugar is shaky, eat entire fridge! How dumb! Must work out tomorrow. Oh, it’ll be ok, I’ll eat the pasta. Why did I eat the pasta? Too many carbs. Uh-oh, its 3am & my blood sugar is low. Raid fridge. Mmm, peanut butter. I won’t eat anything but almonds tomorrow.

Not to complain, but, that is how my mind is working some days because I fret so much about my looks & gaining weight. Mind you, I actually do eat healthy, & my weight has been within the same 10 pound range for about 12 or more years, yet, I am always concerned & sometimes have to remind myself to ENJOY myself & eat what I want, when I am hungry & in moderation.

Also for 12 or more years, I have read magazines, just nowadays they’re more like The Huffington Post or LA Times. Throughout my teen years, I was ALL about fashion/beauty/young women publications, think Seventeen, Jane, YM. While I eagerly awaited each month to have that thick book of 100 or more pages plopped inside my mailbox, I do think no amount of eyeshadow tips & “What Kind of Flirt” or “Which Buffy girl are you? quizzes made these magazines do more good than bad for me.

All of the ones I subscribed to had loads of professional models in each issue, no doubt. These women all looked gorgeous, with the perfect outfit, hair, shoes….and, body. While I admit there were times back then I felt several of them were way too skinny, I still secretly wished I looked that thin, & would get concerned that’s the only way to make a boy like you. Everything felt ugly on me.

Looking back, those years were tame for me compared to what I think is going on in this day & age. What the hell kind of message are we sending to kids about body & self-image? Pink looked beautiful, as she said herself, yet, still: The media has such a mighty voice in the world, that too many will think that they’re right. Not just girls, but boys hurt just as much with their looks, as well as being told that a normal sized women is obviously fat or unattractive.

I’m not writing this post just to vent, but, also? To remind myself to feel mad & out raged when I complain about my own body, not just Pink’s. As the musician says herself, shes beautiful, & I am sure she’d say you are, too.

I will now go enjoy my dinner. xo