ALONG COMES MARY

So, this past week at the amazing Entertainment New Media Network Conference, I almost zip lined! Yes, only almost. I chickened out as my fears and anxiety were THAT high. Yet, I think getting all harnessed up and on that platform is a step in the right direction.

We were spending a fabulous day up in Santa Paula at The KOA Campgrounds. As soon as we arrived onto the beautiful grounds, I saw the zip lines. They looked high. Well, maybe not that high. I did not plan on even attempting to zip line. While I definitely felt a little peer pressure from my blogger friends,  I completely thought it would help me. I was surrounded by loads of friends and women I admire and love. Am I going to be the only one not to do an itty bitty safe zip line across a camp ground? So, I began the journey to the take off.

Anxiety plays a large role in my life. I feel like I am extremely good at managing it most of the time thanks to my support team and willingness to step out into the world (which some days is a struggle as big as an elephant). I have had this long-term fear of being high up, with my feet dangling. Put me in an airplane (which is actually where I am writing this from), a Ferris wheel, even a bit of a high rollercoaster (think California Screamin’ at California Adventure) and I do just dandy. Yet, when my legs and feet are loose, and I am in mid-air or on a ride like the Silver Bullet at Knott’s Berry Farm, I freaking FREAK.

The entire process to that platform was awesome. I laughed with friends, got my harness on like a big girl and had a neat helmet that made me want to sing YMCA. Yet, when it was my turn, and I got up to be hooked onto the line with my gear, I knew this wasn’t for me. When she said, step down and go, that was the last thing I wanted to do. My friends kept saying, just go! Just do it! You’re gonna want to do it again! But, alas, no, I did not want to do it.

I then let everyone else go ahead, as I thought maybe just some alone time with that step off would soften my worries. I got up again, the attendant alerted the end of the platform on the other side I was coming. As soon as I heard I had the green light to GO, I tried. so. Hard.

It just wasn’t my time.

I am super embarrassed I just could not get myself to take that 20 second thrill ride. Yet, all I can do is remember: I got on that platform twice. I got to the edge. I was not even planning to get that close prior to the trip. It’s all about the baby steps. That’s all you can do!

What are your baby steps? Have you almost done something yet came out still being proud of yourself? 🙂