ALONG COMES MARY

I am one of the millions of people out there who has an on-line dating profile. It seems to me that most of my fellow single friends have at-least one, or have tried it at one time or another. If nothing else, it can make for funny stories when I get together with girlfriends when we exchange horror stories about people we’ve come across or went out with (yes, very Sex & the City, very cliché!). Then there are some who have said they are too scared or skeptical to try. I can see that; lets put a load of pictures of yourself in a bikini or your best sexy pose on the web for a bunch of potential serial killers or creepos to see along with glorified information about how great you & your life are & what you do on Friday nights.
I also have a few friends who have had great luck with meeting their significant other on the internet, even their spouse, & that makes me wonder what am I doing wrong?? Most people, even if they have an abundance of interest & hobbies, don’t know what to say about themselves when they see a blank screen under words like, “About Me” or “What I Am Doing With My Life” (If I knew, I probably wouldn’t be home trying to meet dates on my laptop). It can also be discouraging when you write someone who seems really cool, yet see they viewed your page but something about you made them not write back….maybe I should have taken that picture of me with dancing with a teddy bear down? Or made up my career is more glamorous or not have said I love breakfast for dinner:-( Who knows!

It seems like sort of a no brainer that I would try on-line dating; ever since I was young, I have enjoyed meeting friends in unorthodox ways. I had pen pals from all over growing up, have met many of my dearest friends on-line via groups & message boards for my favorite musician, Tori Amos & on MySpace (back in the day!) I ran a tribute page for the english singer/pianist, Kate Bush & have stayed in-touch with many of my ‘Cloudbusters’ (Kate language; more often than not, if you are a Tori fan, you like Kate, so since there were not many web-sites for her, thus, why I made a MySpace. Good times!) as well as joining a great web-site to get out & meet friends with similar interests through groups when I 1st moved to So Cal. That is also when I joined some dating sites, & I have met up with quite a few guys from on-line since I moved down here. Have I had good luck, ever? Not really. But, I have never met a real psycho or had a problem with someone (ok, maybe I can think of some strange incidents, but still…), no stalkers, so, that’s a GOOD thing! I dated a guy for a few months I met through a site, as well as others I have gone out with a few times, & even though it has yet to go anywhere with any of them, it still has been a fun way to learn about someone, where they’re from, what their city is like, where their life is taking them. Especially living near LA because I have come across so many guys who are here trying to ‘live the dream’; they’re from everywhere, yet come to So Cal to pursue their passions (I also forget if I was not in LA every other dude I meet would not be an actor/film maker/editor/musician/’artist’). Being born & raised here, I sometimes forget just how desirable CA is to many.
 It has been like when you meet with anyone; you either connect, or you are cordial while ‘suddenly’ remembering you need to be somewhere, ‘but email me!’ you say & they never do. There have been a few dates that I thought went very well, yet, I never hear from him again, & there is a side to me that wouldn’t mind knowing why he didn’t feel a connection, or what/if I said or did anything wrong; same goes for e-mailing or even calling;  just a few months ago I had a phone chat with a guy I thought sounded great. We emailed, text, sent funny photos on our cells to each other. Then, suddenly, nada. & we never even had met, so go figure. Life is busy for us all, & stress rates are through the roof, so perhaps that could simply be why guys go & disappear.

Sometimes, I have got to wonder if dating was at all more fun pre-Al Gore discovering the internet (haha). People obviously met & got together; look at our parents. There can be a dis-connection, a numbness, to ones feelings, with so much networking via the world-wide web. We live in an age where even people we think we’re close to may decide to ‘remove’ you from their friends list, cancel plans on Twitter. I definitely know I can be guilty of that dis-connection, I am more apt to i-m or email a friend than call them. These web-sites can feel like a game; I think it’s no coincidence a film like The Hunger Games is so popular right now, or tv shows like Survivor….when a potential match goes & stops e-mailing you, does that just mean you were voted off the island?

If nothing else, the e-mails you get can be worth it. Some of my messages have been hilarious, while some are disgusting. Some humorous ones that come to mind include: The one who wrote that he wanted to take me out, he had a whole day planned he wrote out to me! Only to write again a few hours later & apologize he was feeling sick. The guy who explained from reading my page, he had already married & divorced me….sure, buddy.

Lately, I am not too active with on-line dating & enjoying thinking about what my next bold move will be, as well as learning more about this world of blogging & what I want to do next with my life. Thus, in part, why I am so into my blog right now; just searching for some normalcy in this ever-changing world.